Going on a mini vacation to Florida should be fun, right? Sunshine and a condo right on the beach. Maybe if I went with someone who was a lot nicer and didn’t think it was acceptable to have other girls sitting on his lap.
My trip to Florida seemed like it would be awesome. I had been dating this guy for a couple of months and he seemed great. I met him at my work and instantly thought he was gorgeous. People always ask what my “type ” is for guys. I don’t really have a “type ”, but I do have a thing for tattoos. They are my weakness! This guy was loaded with tattoos so we’re going to call him “Ink”.
I worked at a gym and he would come in and I would always find an excuse to talk to him. He finally got the hint and asked if I would like to go to dinner one night. I, of course, said yes immediately and went to dinner with him the next night. He was sweet, caring and made me feel like he really liked me. When you start dating someone, sometimes you don’t notice the red flags, or sometimes you notice them but you brush them off. I brushed off a lot of red flags with Ink. Here are some red flags I ignored:
- Previously married and talked very offensively to and about his ex-wife.
- Occasionally get very angry over nothing (I thought this was because of his military background).
- Played with bombs….but for his job.
- Told me that his ex-wife and him had an “open marriage.”
Catch my drift?!
In April, Ink asked me to go with him on a trip to Florida to attend the military memorial ball. I instantly said yes because I liked being with him and thought it would be an amazing opportunity to experience more of his life and background. This trip required me to get a fancy dress for the military ball , and I was so excited to look gorgeous for Ink. I picked out a dress and started working out more to look good for the weekend in Florida.
The trip finally came and we were on our way to Florida. We started our drive and made it to Atlanta for the night. I noticed on the drive there that Ink was getting annoyed that I wanted to sleep the whole time. Yet, when I wasn’t asleep he didn’t feel the need to talk to me. We arrived in Florida and agreed to get dinner. At dinner Ink thought it was ok to insult me in front of his friends by making fun of me. After dinner, his friends wanted to stay in but Ink wanted to go to the bar close to the condo. At least I thought it was right down the street. It was over a mile away and he wanted us to walk. It was also raining.
We get to the bar which is full of his friends from work so he immediately left me alone to go talk with them. A few guys would come over and talk to me which would then make Ink come over and acknowledge me to get them to leave. I met a few of his friends and they all told me how awesome Ink was and how lucky I was to be with him. I didn’t feel lucky at all that weekend. It wasn’t until last call that we left the bar and walked back.
The next day was the ball. The entire day felt rushed but when I finally got to put on my dress for the ball I felt gorgeous. I didn’t receive any compliments from Ink, only his friends. When we arrived at the ball, I was left to stand alone while Ink talked with his friends.
We left the ball, changed and headed to a bar that everyone was going to. At this point I was annoyed for being ignored most of the weekend. I was trying to have fun and mingle with all of these people I met while Ink was ignoring me. I kept noticing this one girl all weekend all over Ink and staring at me. Finally, it happened. The girl was on Ink’s lap and I caused a scene. I walked outside angry and in tears and finally Ink came out to ask “What my problem was?” He told me it was fine and normal for girls to sit on his lap and I needed to get over myself. His friends that were staying with us in the condo came out and I asked them to take me back. Ink stayed there with his “lap girl”.
Back at the condo I started looking for a plane ticket so I could leave as soon as possible. This is when I noticed I left my ID and credit card at the bar. I had no way of getting home and away from Ink. Ink came back and half apologized for what happened. The next morning, we started our 14-hour drive back… in silence. I couldn’t wait to get home and get away from him.
Once we were back home Ink was back to being that nice guy he was at first but not as nice. He decided he was going to move back to Colorado but would come back and visit. I pretended to be sad but I secretly couldn’t wait until he left. We still talked after he left for a little. I finally decided I was completely done with Ink when he wanted me to drive to another state to come see him. I stopped talking to him and ignoring his phone calls and texts. Soon after, I went on a weekend trip with my best friend. During the trip I got the longest, meanest voicemail from Ink. The things he said in the voicemail were the same things I would overhear him telling his ex-wife. I instantly blocked Ink’s phone number, all social media and haven’t heard from him since.
The lessons learned from Ink were that you can figure someone out usually within 3 months of dating them. Also, if you see the red flags, do not ignore them. The flags pop up for a reason and that reason is to get out and get far away from them!!