The Three Musketeers

Have you ever gone on a date with a guy with a specfic name and then every guy you meet after that with that name you don’t like? Try going out with three guys, with the same name in the same week! This is why they will be referred to as “The Three Musketeers.”

Date 1: Porthos
Porthos was one of the three musketeers that was fond of fashionable clothes and keen on making a fortune for himself. I went on a dinner date with a man that shared similar traits as Porthos , he liked to talk about money, traveling and having nice things. Hence, why I thought Porthos was the perfect name for him. I was meeting Porthos at a bar downtown and before I could even get out of the car he was insulting me from across the street. There were a few red flags in our conversation beforehand but for some reason I still showed up. We sat down and started the normal 1st date conversation. He did the tough guy act, trying to impress me with all he had to offer and whenever I would try to tell him about myself he would cut me off or insult me. Once we finished our drinks I thought we were done with the date. But, he asked me to get dinner with him across the street. I was starving, so I agreed. At dinner, the insults continued. Finally, he was ready to go home. He walked me to my car and I gave him a hug goodbye. His response was “had fun, bye!” I was so relieved that he didn’t want to make plans for a second date. On my drive home Porthos texted me and gave me the only compliment from the whole night…… “nice shoes”. I didn’t respond to his text or his texts the following day. One date down and two more to go!

Date 2: Aramis
Aranis was a handsome young man who hesitated between his religious calling and his fondness for women and scheming. My second Musketeer fit this description. During our first date he brought up religious beliefs. While sitting at dinner he asked where I stood on religion. I told him that I attend church on Sundays and pray regularly. He then proceeded to tell me why I shouldn’t believe in the God that I do and that his beliefs were better than mine. This is NOT a first date conversation topic. Aranis and I finished our dinner and I told him I needed to get home even though it was still early in the night. I did not agree to a second date with Aranis.

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Date 3: Athos
Athos, the last Musketeer had never recovered from his marriage and sought solace in wine. Although, Athos’s name didn’t relate with his personality as close as my previous two dates, I found similarities. Athos was very handsome, kind and quiet. I thought the quiet part came from it being our first date and he was just nervous. Our first date we went to my favorite taco place for dinner. I noticed I did most of the talking but always would ask him questions about himself. I thought the date was going pretty well so once it was over I suggested we go out again. I wanted to give Athos another chance since I thought he was nervous and that was the reason for his lack of talking. On the second date we met at a restaurant closer to his house. While waiting for our table I wanted to test Athos to see if he would start the conversation. He didn’t. We stood there waiting for our table in silence, not speaking a single word to each other. We finally sat down and I started the conversation. Usually during dates, I hate the awkward silence and always try to fill it. This time I let the awkward silence sit there waiting for Athos to talk. Finally, our date was over and I went home. I didn’t hear from Athos for over 4 days after that night. His only text after 4 days was “Hey, what’s up?”. I didn’t respond because I was no longer interested and guys shouldn’t wait 4 days to text someone after a second date if you want to go out again.

The Three Musketeers were three completely different types of guys. These guys will meet a woman that fits their personality. I clearly wasn’t her. These dates taught me that even a free drink and dinner are not worth being insulted the entire time. To never change your beliefs based on someone else’s and do not bring up religion on the first date unless you’ve already previously discussed it. And lastly, make sure to talk to your date and don’t leave awkward silence.

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Tinder Dates Part 1

What girl hasn’t gotten on Tinder or at least looked at it and had some type of interest in it? Tinder is hilarious. There are books about Tinder fails, and hilarious screenshots of Tinder conversations. Not everyone is successful on Tinder, except for that couple that got a free trip to Hawaii.

Here are a few of my personal Tinder fails.

My first ever tinder  date was with “Blue”. He  seemed very nice and was easy to talk to through texts. So, we decided to go out for ice cream. We met in a public place, so that if he tried to kidnap me I could scream and someone would hear me! He picked me up on time and we started our drive to go get ice cream. This was also the first date since breaking up with my boyfriend of 6 months. (I’ll introduce him later!)

Blue wanted to talk about his custom ordered 4Runner  and how intense his job was the whole ride there.  I just sat there in the passenger seat. We got our ice cream, sat down, and Blue kept talking while I kept nodding. Blue then took it upon himself to guess my underwear color while eating ice cream. Yes, there were people around us. He asked if I had on blue underwear. It was clearly my shirt tucked into my skirt. I then thought it was best for Blue to return me to my car. He drove me back to my car and he asked about coming to my house. My excuse: I needed to go buy cat food to feed my cat. I got out of the car and walked into the grocery store and wondered around for about 30 minutes to make sure he had left and wouldn’t follow me home. I then went home without any cat food and without any desire to see Blue again.

I didn’t want Blue to ruin my experience of Tinder since a few of my friends had actually had decent dates so I decided to give another match a chance. This Tinder guy will be referred as “V”.

V and I chatted on Tinder for a bit  before agreeing to meet up for coffee. Sidenote: I don’t drink coffee, so this date was already off to a bad start. The next day we made plans to meet at Starbucks after work. We had been chatting some throughout the day so I assumed we still had plans. I texted V on my way to the date. I pulled into the parking lot, checked my phone, no response. So, I waited a few minutes for him to text back. Nothing. I waited to see if anyone showed up. Nothing. V never showed up. He texted me later that evening and said “Oh was that tonight.” I didn’t respond. He obviously wasn’t worth my time.

Karma is a Funny thing. V ended up coming into my work about a week later. He didn’t know where I worked but he ended up coming right in and was face to face with me. Meeting him in person made me very glad that I didn’t end up on that date with him. He could barely look at me and he clearly was not as tall as he said.

I didn’t give up that easily on Tinder because third time is supposed to be the charm. I decided to go on another date with some lucky guy. This date was with “Gamer”.

Gamer thought we should eat at a hibachi restaurant that was his favorite. It was nice but we ended up talking to the other people at the table more than we talked to each other. After dinner, he thought we should go to a local park to walk around and get to know each other some more. Don’t worry, I drove myself so that way if he was going to try kidnap me I was in a public place and I could run back to my car.  This guy also talked a lot. He liked to talk about his job which was a professional video gamer. This was a first for me. I didn’t even know that was a career. But this also showed me he didn’t like the outdoors and would rather spend time inside, in front of a TV. His pictures also didn’t look anything like the person I was with. But then neither did the other two Tinder guys.

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Lesson learned: guys use old pictures for their Tinder profiles, they are not as tall as they look, and sometimes people really do say what they’re thinking. But these guys are awesome in their own way and hopefully have met whoever they were looking for on Tinder or Bumble or E-harmony. Internet dating is not for me.

Single by Choice