There are some moments in your life when someone says something to you that will always stay in your mind. They can be encouraging words, or words that will hurt you. These words can change the way you think about yourself or other people. Women are already compared to each other in multiple ways; the color of our hair, eyes, what we’re wearing, who we spend our time with, how much we weigh, our relationships with men and many more things. So when the person you’re in a relationship with tells you something that changes the way you look at yourself in a negative way, it hurts. It really hurts. My first boyfriend after high school did just that, and we will refer to him as “Prince A.”
The first time I met Prince A was at a party at his house. I remember meeting him, talking to him and enjoying the whole night. About a week or so later I saw Prince A again, and he ended up asking me on a date. I was over the moon that this guy was at least a little bit interested in me. Interested enough to ask me out. We went to dinner and I thought it went okay but didn’t think a guy like him would be interested in me at all. Before he took me home that night, he asked me on a second date. Prince A pulled out all the stops and took me on the best dates I have probably ever been on. He knew how to wow a woman.
We formed a relationship and in time people ask you how did you meet. Prince A would start the story but when I corrected him and told him I had met him at his house for a party, but he said he didn’t remember. We had been in a relationship long enough to where I felt comfortable enough to ask him why he didn’t remember me and his response was, “I don’t know, you just didn’t stand out.” I dated Prince A for over a year and we ended up not seeing eye to eye with a lot of things in our relationship, but those words he said always stood out to me.
Other than never feeling pretty enough or important enough for Prince A, our relationship wasn’t horrible. We just weren’t meant for each other. But those words have stayed with me for years. I have always compared myself to other girls and wanted to be the best. It’s taken me a while, but I’m finally realizing that I am different for a reason, just like everyone else around me. I need to own the qualities I was given, and the things I have conquered and fought for all by myself. We don’t need someone else’s approval, although we sometimes strive for it. Just because someone might not think you stand out to them, doesn’t mean you don’t stand out. Everyone stands out in their own way.