Being More Independent

With the holiday’s fast approaching and the cold weather bearing down on us what do singles want that they don’t have? A relationship or someone they can cuddle up to when it’s cold, go see Christmas lights, the Nutcracker, or exchange gifts with. For some odd reason we always want someone around the holidays. So, today we’ll talk about ways to be more independent.

We’ve always been taught since a young age that being alone is a bad thing. That we will always need someone to help us but then when there isn’t someone there to help you what happens? You get through it alone and you’re fine. There have been numerous times where I really want to ask for help, I’ve even asked for help or reached out for it and got nothing back. Those nights where you’ve had the worst day and so many terrible things start crashing down around you and you just want someone there for you. But sometimes there is no one and in those times, you have to pull through it on your own. These times are tests to show you that you can actually get through things without having someone help you or do it for you. They allow you to become stronger so the next time you’re faced with a problem you don’t think you can deal with, you actually can.

Some of you may have read about my first Solo Trip here on my blog. That trip was what pushed me to be more independent. Yes, it may have been nice to have someone with me while walking around that city but that’s not what I set out to accomplish. Over the last few years I’ve learned so much more about myself by doing things on my own. I am no longer scared to try something new without someone else doing it before me. I am willing to make new friends and go places alone. I’ve actually learned that sometimes you really need those alone moments to get yourself together. Here are a few things that I’ve personally done alone and think anyone can do:

          Go out to dinner

          Go to a museum

          Take a walk around the city

          Go shopping

          Volunteer (this is currently my new favorite thing to do!)

          Go workout

          Sign up for a class

          Go get ice cream

          Wonder around the grocery store

          Adopt a dog (but only if you’re ready for the commitment)

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I have so many things I am willing to do alone now since realizing I don’t always need someone to hold my hand along the way. Being in relationships and dating has taught me this also. We are so terrified of being alone that when we are alone we don’t know what to do with ourselves. People have become so accustom to constantly being with someone they don’t know who they are without them. I used to want to spend so much time with the guys I was in a relationship with because I missed that feeling of happiness when I wasn’t with them. I became dependent on wanting to do whatever they wanted and would bend just to hopefully satisfy them. When I got out of those relationships I felt so lost in my own life because I changed it to fit into theirs. This is when I realized I needed to be ok with being alone and I needed to be more independent. I have accomplished so much in the last few years that I never thought I would alone. I’ve been through major life changes and always thought growing up that when these things would come along I’d have someone by my side helping me along the way. But, those changes came and I conquered them all by myself. If I can do it, anyone can. One day I will find that someone to stand next to me through more changes but as of right now I am pretty darn proud of how far I’ve come all by myself!

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Be Happy!

Be Happy!

We live in a world accustomed to never being alone. We are always asked if we have a significant other, when we’re getting married or when will we have children. The world has taught us from a young age that we are supposed to have someone else to make us happy.  I was always looking for that someone. In that time, I found lots of guys that I thought would be that. But what I learned along the way was I needed to make myself happy.

yourselfOver my years of dating, I’ve learned to love myself, be happy with being alone and never depend on others for my happiness. It took many broken hearts to get this far, but I finally made it. I realized I wasn’t going to accomplish much if I sat around and waited for someone to do it with me. It takes a strong person to stand up, go against normalcy, and be independent. My motivation comes from finding lots of awesome quotes.

Here are a few:

Be happy with yourself and where you are at this stage in life. Keep learning and experiencing new things, even if it means you do it alone. Love yourself as much as the love you want to give away.