Two Faced

The One You Can’t Let Go

There is always that one guy that you go back to time and time again. The one that always knows the right things to say. The one that keeps stringing you along. I had that one guy on and off for more than a couple of years. He was tall, handsome, great smile, tattoos and so much fun to be around. We would date other people but whenever it ended we always found each other. Little did I know that the guy I thought he was, was someone completely opposite. We will call him “Two Faced.”.

I have known of Two Faced since I was in High School, but we didn’t actually meet until he started working for my dad. He had this sympathy story he carried around with him to get girls, at least that’s how he got me. I believed everything he said because I had no reason not to.

When my boyfriend and I broke up, Two Faced was over that week making me dinner. He went with me to a Wine Festival, took me to the fair, and he even agreed to be my date to my best friend’s wedding. He also came over to hang out with my parents. I thought we had a good thing going on and we had great sex! Slowly I would notice small red flags or weird behaviors from Two Faced. I thought with all the time we were spending together he was only dating me. Lies!!!

I noticed the first red flag at the State Fair when his phone kept ringing and he said it was some crazy girl that wouldn’t leave him alone. Then, my best friend’s wedding came. It was out of town and I had already paid for both of us to stay in a house for the whole weekend. The week of the wedding Two Faced told me he forgot about the wedding and didn’t take off the right weekend, so he couldn’t go. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and still tried to hang on to whatever was there between us.

One night, Two Faced invited me out to have drinks with him and some friends. While sitting at the bar the waitress comes over to ask if we needed anything. And, right in front of me Two Faced asked for her phone number. Trying not to be agitated, I let it go. He was all over me of course on our way to the next bar. Once we got to the bar he bought me a drink and then disappeared. That’s when I noticed him with two other girls that were yelling at him. I found out that those two girls were best friends and they each had recently found out he was sleeping with both of them. Still trying to remain cool, I decided to call it a night and his brother walked me to my car. Two Faced called me that night and the next day. He said all the right things to get me right back into his web of lies.

Shortly after this episode, Two Faced invited me out once again for drinks. This time I decided to bring a friend with me in case he pulled the same crap. We arrive at the bar that everyone in this town goes to on a Friday and Saturday night. Everyone knows exactly who Two Faced is in this bar. As soon as I walk in I spot him talking to another girl. My friend walks over and says hi and he walks over to hug and kiss me. And then, he disappears. I see him back with that same girl by the bar all over her and finally walk over to him. He was paying his bar tab getting ready to leave with this girl in his arms. I asked him if he was really going to leave with this girl in front of me after he invited me out. His response “Yea, why not?”

My friend and I left and went home. The next day we packed a bag and headed to the beach for the weekend to get away from everything. I was so upset for trusting this guy so many times. I even met someone at the beach that I thought would be great for me (I’ll tell you about him at a later time). But, once again Two Faced walked back into my life, pulling all the stops  to get me back.

At this point I told him that I wanted to be strictly friends and nothing more than that. I also tried one more time to get him to be my date for a friend’s wedding. He agreed and actually showed up this time. We had an amazing time and of course went past being “just friends.” But, this time was different. It was great sex, but I didn’t feel the connection anymore. This is when I realized that after all the years of being on and off with Two Faced and all the crap I went through with him, it wasn’t worth it anymore. He had broken me down to be this vulnerable girl that just wanted his attention and would do anything to get it. I didn’t want to be that girl anymore. Although, I realized I didn’t want his attention anymore it didn’t stop there. I began finding out more of his lies. Lies that went back to when I first met him all the way until the last time I had seen him.

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Finding out all the lies was like having my heart broken all over again but worse. It was this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and I couldn’t breathe or talk. I just sat there in awe of everything I was learning.

I found out not only was he seeing multiple girls the entire time he was seeing me, some of these girls were people I considered friends, girls I had seen him out with but he told me were “no bodies.” I also found out that his long time ex-girlfriend that had actually never left the picture like he said. After finding out all of these horrible things, I realized that the guy I thought I knew all these years was not that guy at all. He was a completely different person that lived in a world of lies. He had so many lies that he actually began to believe them. He would manipulate every girl he came in contact with and pit every girl against each other. He was controlling and psychotic to be able to do this to so many women.

Two Faced is no longer in my life and never will be. I hope that people will see this story and know that there are guys out there just like this but in hiding. Two Faced walks around like he’s everyone’s best friend and can do no evil. Yet, he mentally and physically hurts women and has been for years.

My goal is for more people to stand up for themselves and never allow a person to have that much control over you. Girls need to support one another and realize that sometimes it’s the guys fault, and not the girl that didn’t know he was seeing 10 other girls. If a guy is ok with doing what Two Faced did to me, then you do not need him in your life. He is not the right guy. Two Faced might have broken me down but in the long run he made me stronger. He made me believe in myself and learn not to take crap from anyone. He showed me exactly who I don’t want to be and who I don’t want to be with.

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Making Friends Along the Way

When we go through a break up, we usually turn to our friends. They are the ones that are there to pick up all the pieces when you’ve been broken. Sometimes, we find friends in the most unlikely ways. In my years of dating, I have met many people and some of those people have become my amazing friends. I’ve found these friends through break ups, dating the same guy at the same time, ex-girlfriends and friends of new girlfriends.

friendship

More women today should support each other instead of hating them because of a guy. Usually, the root of every girl-drama steams from a guy. Ladies, never let that guy win over friends! Here are some ways you can support other women around you:

          Be open and honest

          Lean back and listen to what they have to say

          Support them

          Have girl time, go to brunch or happy hour

          Check in to see how they’re doing

          Invite them out with other friends

          Support women owned businesses

          Compliment each other

          Defend one another

My friends have picked me up when I was down and I am beyond thankful for them. When you find friends like these you hang on to them, not the guy that keeps breaking your heart.

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