Changes For The Better

Sometimes I have these super ballsy moments where I see a cute guy and give them my number.  One night I went out on a whim  and gave a guy my number. He was sweet, funny and had an accent from Louisiana. So, I will call him Louisiana. We ended up going out to lunch the very next day.

Our first date was great. I felt very comfortable talking to him and being with him. We hung out a few times but I noticed that he was always negative about things and mean to other people. He was never negative or mean towards me. Louisiana came over for dinner one night and things got hot. Very hot. But hot doesn’t always mean good, so I learned that night.

A few days later Louisiana drunk dialed me asking to come pick him up from a bar. I was beyond annoyed that he wouldn’t accept no for an answer. I ended up picking him up and letting him stay the night at my house. I set a few ground rules for him staying the night. These were my rules (mostly because of my annoyance): do not breath on me, do not touch me, no cuddling, no snoring and no sex! I listed each rule and then rolled over. Louisiana finally passed out after an hour of drunk mumbling. I pretended to be asleep. Then, the snoring began. I tried waking him up multiple times. Finally, I got up and went and slept in my spare room. The next morning, I had to get ready for work and then drive him back to his hotel.

I ended up “ghosting” Louisiana after that night. He reached out to me twice and I felt awful about leaving him hanging. Finally, I texted him and told him where I was that moment in my life and why it wouldn’t work out between us. I decided to meet Louisiana for dinner one night and I was very honest with him. We were talking about the reason why I began going to church and he said he understood where I was coming from. I told him that maybe these were the reasons he was so negative and mean to other people. We had a very deep conversation that night. Louisiana still tried to be more than friends with me but I was not having it. He moved back home soon after.

Occasionally I would hear from him and how I changed his life. I found out that he began going to church and was no longer negative and mean to other people. He said I helped him realize what he needed to fix in his life and how to become a better person. Louisiana ended up sending me a handwritten card and very thoughtful gift for Christmas that year. He is also still convinced that I am the love of his life and he’s going to marry me one day.

Although I enjoyed Louisiana’s company, I didn’t feel the “click.” I was instantly annoyed with him in less than a week. Louisiana will still randomly text me to see if I’ve met anyone and if he still has a chance. Each time I’m just as honest with him as I have been in the past. Meeting Louisiana taught me that you need to be honest. It also made me feel good, knowing I helped him become a better person. I pray that Louisiana finds that perfect person that he’s searching for and will remain this awesome person he has become. Also, I learned that ghosting people is wrong and its always better to be upfront and honest with everyone.

Tinder Dates Part 1

What girl hasn’t gotten on Tinder or at least looked at it and had some type of interest in it? Tinder is hilarious. There are books about Tinder fails, and hilarious screenshots of Tinder conversations. Not everyone is successful on Tinder, except for that couple that got a free trip to Hawaii.

Here are a few of my personal Tinder fails.

My first ever tinder  date was with “Blue”. He  seemed very nice and was easy to talk to through texts. So, we decided to go out for ice cream. We met in a public place, so that if he tried to kidnap me I could scream and someone would hear me! He picked me up on time and we started our drive to go get ice cream. This was also the first date since breaking up with my boyfriend of 6 months. (I’ll introduce him later!)

Blue wanted to talk about his custom ordered 4Runner  and how intense his job was the whole ride there.  I just sat there in the passenger seat. We got our ice cream, sat down, and Blue kept talking while I kept nodding. Blue then took it upon himself to guess my underwear color while eating ice cream. Yes, there were people around us. He asked if I had on blue underwear. It was clearly my shirt tucked into my skirt. I then thought it was best for Blue to return me to my car. He drove me back to my car and he asked about coming to my house. My excuse: I needed to go buy cat food to feed my cat. I got out of the car and walked into the grocery store and wondered around for about 30 minutes to make sure he had left and wouldn’t follow me home. I then went home without any cat food and without any desire to see Blue again.

I didn’t want Blue to ruin my experience of Tinder since a few of my friends had actually had decent dates so I decided to give another match a chance. This Tinder guy will be referred as “V”.

V and I chatted on Tinder for a bit  before agreeing to meet up for coffee. Sidenote: I don’t drink coffee, so this date was already off to a bad start. The next day we made plans to meet at Starbucks after work. We had been chatting some throughout the day so I assumed we still had plans. I texted V on my way to the date. I pulled into the parking lot, checked my phone, no response. So, I waited a few minutes for him to text back. Nothing. I waited to see if anyone showed up. Nothing. V never showed up. He texted me later that evening and said “Oh was that tonight.” I didn’t respond. He obviously wasn’t worth my time.

Karma is a Funny thing. V ended up coming into my work about a week later. He didn’t know where I worked but he ended up coming right in and was face to face with me. Meeting him in person made me very glad that I didn’t end up on that date with him. He could barely look at me and he clearly was not as tall as he said.

I didn’t give up that easily on Tinder because third time is supposed to be the charm. I decided to go on another date with some lucky guy. This date was with “Gamer”.

Gamer thought we should eat at a hibachi restaurant that was his favorite. It was nice but we ended up talking to the other people at the table more than we talked to each other. After dinner, he thought we should go to a local park to walk around and get to know each other some more. Don’t worry, I drove myself so that way if he was going to try kidnap me I was in a public place and I could run back to my car.  This guy also talked a lot. He liked to talk about his job which was a professional video gamer. This was a first for me. I didn’t even know that was a career. But this also showed me he didn’t like the outdoors and would rather spend time inside, in front of a TV. His pictures also didn’t look anything like the person I was with. But then neither did the other two Tinder guys.

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Lesson learned: guys use old pictures for their Tinder profiles, they are not as tall as they look, and sometimes people really do say what they’re thinking. But these guys are awesome in their own way and hopefully have met whoever they were looking for on Tinder or Bumble or E-harmony. Internet dating is not for me.

Single by Choice

 

Do’s & Dont’s of Dating

When you get ready to go on a date you want to impress that person. Sometimes we do things that we think may impress them or may actually completely turn them away. It could be nerves or it could be the real person showing coming out. Here are a few of my dating do’s and dont’s that I’ve personally experienced.

Nevermind

  • Do always walk to the door or greet the person you’re picking up for a date
  • Do NOT honk the horn when you arrive at their house to have them come outside
  • Do plan a fun date that will allow you to talk to each other
  • Do NOT get so drunk on your date that she has to call her friends to come get you both
  • Do NOT go to a movie on your first date…. You can’t talk in the movies!
  • Do NOT invite your new date and old date to a “Fun Day” together
  • Do NOT insult your date the entire time you’re together
  • Do NOT try to change your dates point of view on religion on your first date
  • Do show interest in your date and what they’re talking about
  • DO NOT check out other girls while on your date
  • Do NOT point out how attractive other girls are while on your date
  • Do call or text your date the day before and the day of your date
  • Do NOT ghost your date then still assume your date is still on
  • Do listen to what your date is saying
  • Do NOT let awkward silence take over your date
  • Do NOT do all the talking on the date
  • DO ask your date questions about them so they can ask you those same questions back
  • Do NOT talk on your phone while your date waits patiently for you to finish… unless it’s an emergency
  • Do NOT talk about yourself the entire date
  • Do allow your date to talk to you
  • Do NOT talk about your ex-girlfriend for the whole date
  • Do NOT drive like you’re in NASCAR with your date in the car
  • Do listen to your date if they’re trying to give you directions and you do not know where you’re going
  • Do NOT reveal too much personal information about yourself on your first date
  • Do NOT start planning your future with your date on your first date
  • Do ask your date what they like and do not like before planning your first date
  • Do compliment your date
  • Do NOT show up for your date drunk
  • Do NOT show up for your date late… unless you have a really good excuse, like saving baby kittens
  • Do have manners and treat the wait staff or any other people you come in contact with nicely
  • Do NOT blow off your date twice and expect them to still go out with you
  • Do act nicely to your date so they will want to go on more dates
  • Do NOT wait three days to contact your date after your first date
  • Do reach out to your date if you’re interested
  • Do follow your gut
  • Do notice the red flags
  • Do be truthful to your date if you’re not interested in them

These are just a few of my personal pointers for dating. They’re not a rule book. But I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who would agree with some of these Do’s and Dont’s.

What are some of your Do’s and Dont’s on Dates?!

Intimidatingmscott