The Bartender

So, I’ve had a rough start to the first of the year and a hard time wanting to write anything but I’ve always found humor helps me through rough times. I’m going to tell you the story about the Bartender. The guy I thought was pretty close to perfect except a few small things. Thinking back about this Bartender makes me laugh and I hope it will make you laugh too.

My friend and I planned a spur of the moment trip to the beach one weekend after “Two Faced” tried to break my heart once again. A friend once told me “the best way to get over one man was to get under another.” I didn’t get under Bartender but it did help me for a couple of months, even though he didn’t last that long. At the beach I had to go to one of my favorite restaurants which was walking distance from our hotel. If anyone knows me they know my all time favorite thing to do is eat!! Food is my favorite besides my dog!

We get to the restaurant and sit at the bar and I immediately recognize the bartender from 4 months ago. I found him attractive then and this time I had the best wing woman with me! My friend and I sat at that bar the whole night while I flirted with the bartender. We ended up exchanging numbers and the manager even asked my friend and I to come back for breakfast the next morning. Of course, we went back for breakfast because I also have a love for bloody Mary’s.

At breakfast the bartender waited on us and we stayed far longer than we planned to. The bartender comped our entire breakfast and then even gave us a ride back to the hotel. I felt so much better after having Two Faced break me down. When we got home, Bartender called me and we would talk on the phone during the week for hours. We ended up planning a date that week and met halfway between the beach and my work.

I was really excited to meet Bartender again and we had a great dinner. On my way home I was still somewhat excited but felt like there was something wrong.

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He continued to call me and we planned a second date. We met once again halfway but this time it was different. I arrived at the restaurant and Bartender kissed me as soon as he saw me. We sat down and after 5 minutes I was ready to go home. He did the weirdest things at dinner and I realized his voice was very, very high pitch. He also kept repeating the same phrase in his high pitch voice “done and done.” We left dinner and he kissed me outside of my car and that was the last straw for me. His breath was horrid. I got in my car and knew then I did not want to see Bartender again.

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Slowly I laid off the texting and calls with Bartender and he eventually went two weeks without talking to me. This is when I thought we were done talking and I wouldn’t hear from him again. Nope, he decided to text me and ask me about a trip he thought I was on and I got even more annoyed that he didn’t listen to what I had said. I know, it had been over two weeks since we had spoken but who reaches out to someone two weeks after not saying a word to them. I did finally tell Bartender I was no longer interested in him but of course would randomly get texts from him that I didn’t answer.

Bartender had a lot of other red flags that I didn’t mention but then he was also probably a rebound that didn’t last very long. I realized shortly after this that when I did go on dates with guys they usually never made it past the second date. Also, I know I’m picky but I also know what I bring to the table and know what I don’t want.

One of my friends would always ask me about my dates, who I was dating and would listen to my horrible dating stories. She was the sweetest, friendliest and light up any room she came into. I remember the day I told her about bartender and telling her when I no longer wanted to date him. We always had laughs about my dates and I’ll really miss telling her about them now. Now she can watch over me while I go on these dates and hopefully prevent me from the crazies!!

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The Blind Date

We all have those friends that try to set us up with someone they know. They think we would be a perfect match or have a lot in common. In most of these cases it never works out for me. Except, this one time. Clearly, I’m not still with this said person but this blind set up actually turned into a relationship for 6 quick months. We will refer to him as Justin Bobby. I call him this because he had two first names.

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One of my good friends asked me if I would be interested in meeting her soon to be brother in law. I had seen no pictures and knew absolutely nothing about him. This was a complete first for me and I thought would be a fun experience. I arrive at the restaurant and get ready to walk down the stairs and lock eyes with this really cute guy. Low and behold this guy is my blind date!!! I’d say I saw stars or fireworks but that would be a lie. We did however, instantly click. I left there feeling like I was on cloud 9 and couldn’t wait to see him again. We began dating and he was a complete gentleman. Soon after, he invited me to go with him to Atlanta to meet more of his family and to go to a football game. This was a dream weekend for me. Even if plans got messed up, I still had an amazing time just being with him. Justin Bobby was in the military (I had a thing for those at one point) and was stationed in another state. Occasionally, I would drive down to see him or he would come up to see me and his family. Everything became so normal and comfortable so fast but this is when I started noticing the real Justin Bobby.

I always give relationships 3 months at the max. Usually, within 3 months you can figure out who that person truly is because the newness starts wearing off and their true colors come out. Justin Bobby was very, very much into sex. He was also very much into sleeping. At the beginning of our relationship we went places and did things but now 3 months down the road he only wanted to have sex and sleep. The sleeping part annoyed me to no end. The new year came and I was moving into my new house. I asked Justin Bobby if he would help me move. His response wasn’t a yes or no but “did he really have to”. So, I asked other people to help me to move. Clearly, our spark was dying along with our whole relationship. I did like that he would occasionally surprise me. I came home once with a new pair of workout shoes on my front porch!!

One day while Justin Bobby was comfortably sleeping on my couch, I remember looking at him and thinking this is going no where and never will. The thought quickly left my mind because I thought this was normal now and I thought I loved him. Valentines was fast approaching and two days it before Justin Bobby sent me chocolate covered strawberries. Sweet right?! The next day I received a text from Justin Bobby and this is exactly what it said: “I don’t know how I’m going to break up with this girl.  I don’t even know why I want to break up with her, she’s a really awesome cook.” Yes, this is how Justin Bobby broke up with me. By a text that was supposedly for someone else. I immediately called him and asked him about this text and he acted really confused and worried. I told Justin Bobby to never call me again and hung up the phone.

My wonderful friend came over that night with pizza and a movie to make me feel better. The horrible part though, I wasn’t even sad. Have you ever seen the movie The Holiday with Cameron Diaz where her boyfriend breaks up with her and she’s trying to force herself to cry???

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That was me. I genuinely wasn’t upset about the whole thing because in the back of my mind I knew it needed to happen. Maybe not in the way that it did but then you guys wouldn’t be so lucky to read about it! My birthday was coming up and my parents planned this awesome trip that Justin Bobby was supposed to go on. This is also when I decided to rescue my dog Cooper.


See how cute he is!!!!

Right before my trip Justin Bobby reached out to me. He said he really missed me and wanted to see me again. We met up, talked it out and I thought we were going to start dating again. Wrong. Guys, Justin Bobby is the reason why girls think guys only want one thing. Justin Bobby wanted that one thing but he asked if he could take me to dinner for it, buy me a new purse, new shoes or a watch. He didn’t want the relationship title just blow jobs and sex. This was not what I wanted clearly. I wanted him to tell me he loved me after that 6-month period. His response: “I don’t love you, I never loved you and never will.” Stab me right in the heart why don’t you! This is probably where I’ve gotten my black soul from. This whole relationship.

my soul is black... like the night sky. infinite, full of mystery & twinkling stars :)

Eventually, Justin Bobby found some other poor girl and I only say poor girl because I found out after he had been dating her for longer than him and I, he cheated on her. He actually told me this himself. Of course, while he was deployed he tried to reach out to me and say he would buy me things again if I sent him pictures. At this point all of my niceness had worn off because of him and other wonderful men. When he came home he asked me out to dinner. I told him I would think about it and almost picked a day a time only to blow him off last minute. Truthfully, I wanted him to feel the burn that he caused me. He was not happy at all with this burn and I soon blocked him after that.

Justin Bobby taught me to trust my gut and always remember that 3-month rule. I’ve actually gotten it down to a 2-3 date rule now but sometimes a few might slip through the cracks. He also eventually in the long run taught me again to stand up for myself and not let someone physically take advantage of me. I got to experience some pretty cool things with Justin Bobby but I’m also glad I didn’t settle or try to push him to be in a relationship that was going nowhere. Sometimes blind dates can go really bad but sometimes they teach you more about yourself.

I used to believe every word you said Ricardo.You were my Knight in Shining Armor and Prince Charming..I was your Cheerleader/Best Friend/Toy and even Mistress..then your lies destroyed the fantasy image of you..  #ByeRicardo #IWishIKnewTheRealYouAndNotTheFakeOne