Short Lived Big

Sometimes when you’re expecting nothing at all something great comes along. The person that finally makes you feel comfortable with who you are and you get this gleam of hope that they might work out. Before starting this blog my friends would tell me I needed to watch Sex and the City because I sounded like Carrie Bradshaw. So, over the summer I began watching all the episodes and movies. I am now obsessed with shoes and Carrie Bradshaw. Thank you friends!! Carrie had her Big, which of course she ends up happily ever after. Everything was a chance meeting with him. This is where I will tell you about My Big, however, it was very short lived.

My friends invited me to their river house for the weekend. I had no expectations of meeting anyone since the last few months and years hadn’t been the greatest with dating. Saturday, we took the boats out and headed to their favorite restaurant on the water. The day was filled with “swamp juice”, tubing, pushing my friend off the boat, swimming, wakeboarding and avoiding crab pots. We came back to the house to lay by the pool and it was surrounded with people that we didn’t know. I sat down to start my people watching and my friend came over and told me I had to come meet the hottest guy in the world. I was slightly terrified to meet anyone because I looked a “hot mess.” No make-up, sunburnt, and still slightly drunk from the “swamp juice”.

We walk over to “the hottest guy in the world” and she introduces me. Lots of babble came out of my mouth because he actually was the hottest guy in the world and I was at that moment the most awkward girl in the world. He was tall, tan, in shape, great smile, gorgeous voice and  beautiful eyes. He also had other great qualities and reminded me of Carrie’s Big so I’ll call him “Big.” Standing there trying not to be any more awkward than I already was and thinking there is no way this guy can be slightly interested in this hot mess, he walks over and starts a conversation. We end up having a really fun time. A enough fun that he invited me back to his friends to eat. I, of course, thought he just felt bad for me and was trying to be nice. The night came to an end with Big taking me back to my friends and no numbers were exchanged. I was perfectly fine with this ending. I had a great night with a gorgeous guy and it was a total confidence booster.

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The following week my friend would occasionally ask me if I had heard from Big but I knew I probably never would. I’ve learned that if someone is interested in you and wants to talk to you, they will. Big did not ask me for my number that night and he hadn’t tried to get my number since that night. Or did he…… About a month had gone by since that weekend and I came into work with an email from my boss. Supposedly, Big had been asking his friend to try to get in contact with me for a while. I now had Big’s number. Again, I’m still thinking I have no chance with this guy and this has to be a joke. I text Big and we end up setting up a date for the following day.

What does every girl want to do when they have a date with the hottest guy in the world? Look gorgeous of course. I tried, I don’t think I succeeded but I tried.  When I met Big at the restaurant the hostess gave me the bitchiest look ever when she saw him walk in and hug me. (He was that type of hot!) We chose to sit outside to enjoy the view. This is where my trying and not succeeding at looking gorgeous comes in. It was HOT! Really, really HOT! I was sweating my imaginary balls off and really wanted to go sit inside in the air condition. Thank goodness, Big did not complain about my decision. The date ended and we parted ways with him telling me it was good catching up with me. Being a girl, we always read way more into detail than we should sometimes. The end of this date confirmed my assumption that Big was really not interested in me and I was way out of my league with him. I also didn’t hear from him at all the following day. This is where I should have given up. But, I didn’t. I ended up texting Big that night about my canceled weekend plans and he invited me out on his boat the next day! Pity invite or not I was completely blown away and jumped at the chance to hang out with him again.

I arrived at the dock on time and ready to go. We got loaded into the boat and headed out into the river. Within a couple of minutes of cruising on the river the boat cuts off by itself. This should have been a sign of what would happen between us, right? We made the best out of a sucky boat situation and still had a great day. I even met some of his friends. Once we finally got back to the dock, (Big looked like he was jacking the boat off the whole way back by the way), he hugged me goodbye and that was it. Again, totally confused that this guy clearly can’t be into me, I should have let it go. I should have left it alone from the first date but sometimes girls get these things called feelings. By the way, feelings are stupid! The second week went a little better and there was a small increase in texts from Big. He invited me out again on his boat and I promptly accepted again.

The second time on the boat it ran without turning off on its own. Maybe he just took me out a second time to show me his boat actually did run since clearly there wasn’t a third time. We went out to lunch with his friends, which I thought were awesome. This time around Big was a lot more physical and it’s exactly what I wanted because: 1. He was gorgeous and I thought way out of my league, 2. I finally felt comfortable with a guy again and he made me feel normal. We ended our day on the river and Big invited me back to his place. I was ecstatic. Of course, the visit to his place was well worth it on so many levels. I headed home at the end of the day on cloud 9. This guy seemed perfect. Yea, maybe he wasn’t the best texter or a planner but he had finally been the guy to break down some of my walls and allow me to be myself around him. Like I said, I finally felt comfortable with someone and I could be open and honest with him. Clearly, there were red flags but they were so small I told myself to stop being so cautious and picky. This backfired on me of course.

The next weekend came around and it was a holiday weekend so I had an extra day off. I thought by now we were hitting it off we would probably do something together. We hadn’t made plans but every time before they were so last minute it didn’t bother me. It did a little in my head because I am a planner but I was trying to live in the moment. I went back to my friend’s river house that weekend and barely heard from Big. He did finally show up later that night with his friends and was really sweet and normal for the most part. He even invited me on the boat the next day. Again, I was excited. This time though I was allowing myself to get more excited than the previous times because I thought to myself “Oh, maybe I’ll get to keep this one!”, “Maybe, this one actually likes me!” I was wrong….. soooooo wrong. The next day came and I woke up to a text from Big saying that I should just go home because he didn’t know his plans for the day and didn’t want me to be stranded or have to do something I didn’t want. This was a blow but I was going to be ok. Then while getting ready to pack up and leave I see his boat pull in to his friends across the cove. I also find out he has another girl on that boat with him. This blow just got a little harder. Clearly, Big wasn’t into me as much as I thought. So, what do most girls do when this happens? Every bad thought possible runs through your mind. I wanted to go home and get as far away from everything as possible.

Later that day, I ended up finding out exactly who was on that boat. I found out more than I wanted and saw more than I cared to. Big and I only went out a couple of times but this one almost broke me. It wasn’t because of Big or the fact he decided to go back to his ex-girlfriend and not be honest with me. It was because I had finally let my walls down and was finally letting someone in. I was allowing myself to be vulnerable and have those stupid things called feelings again. After Big, I told myself what I had told myself before: never ever let someone have that much control over you or your emotions. This time though I had to stick to it!

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Big was a nice guy with really funny friends. He did finally tell me about him and the ex-girlfriend reconciling and we left it at that. When my friends ask me if I’ve heard from him months after this ordeal, I tell them no, I know I never will. My Short Lived Big was another lesson learned. Don’t dive too deep too soon. Remember the red flags. If someone truly is interested in you, they will make the effort to talk to you, hang out with you and be with you. My short time with Big was fun, it could have been so much worse. As I always tell my dad: “One day I’ll find a guy with his own motorboat.” Big just wasn’t it.

Taylor Swift - Gorgeous I'm actually obsessed with this song

The Blind Date

We all have those friends that try to set us up with someone they know. They think we would be a perfect match or have a lot in common. In most of these cases it never works out for me. Except, this one time. Clearly, I’m not still with this said person but this blind set up actually turned into a relationship for 6 quick months. We will refer to him as Justin Bobby. I call him this because he had two first names.

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One of my good friends asked me if I would be interested in meeting her soon to be brother in law. I had seen no pictures and knew absolutely nothing about him. This was a complete first for me and I thought would be a fun experience. I arrive at the restaurant and get ready to walk down the stairs and lock eyes with this really cute guy. Low and behold this guy is my blind date!!! I’d say I saw stars or fireworks but that would be a lie. We did however, instantly click. I left there feeling like I was on cloud 9 and couldn’t wait to see him again. We began dating and he was a complete gentleman. Soon after, he invited me to go with him to Atlanta to meet more of his family and to go to a football game. This was a dream weekend for me. Even if plans got messed up, I still had an amazing time just being with him. Justin Bobby was in the military (I had a thing for those at one point) and was stationed in another state. Occasionally, I would drive down to see him or he would come up to see me and his family. Everything became so normal and comfortable so fast but this is when I started noticing the real Justin Bobby.

I always give relationships 3 months at the max. Usually, within 3 months you can figure out who that person truly is because the newness starts wearing off and their true colors come out. Justin Bobby was very, very much into sex. He was also very much into sleeping. At the beginning of our relationship we went places and did things but now 3 months down the road he only wanted to have sex and sleep. The sleeping part annoyed me to no end. The new year came and I was moving into my new house. I asked Justin Bobby if he would help me move. His response wasn’t a yes or no but “did he really have to”. So, I asked other people to help me to move. Clearly, our spark was dying along with our whole relationship. I did like that he would occasionally surprise me. I came home once with a new pair of workout shoes on my front porch!!

One day while Justin Bobby was comfortably sleeping on my couch, I remember looking at him and thinking this is going no where and never will. The thought quickly left my mind because I thought this was normal now and I thought I loved him. Valentines was fast approaching and two days it before Justin Bobby sent me chocolate covered strawberries. Sweet right?! The next day I received a text from Justin Bobby and this is exactly what it said: “I don’t know how I’m going to break up with this girl.  I don’t even know why I want to break up with her, she’s a really awesome cook.” Yes, this is how Justin Bobby broke up with me. By a text that was supposedly for someone else. I immediately called him and asked him about this text and he acted really confused and worried. I told Justin Bobby to never call me again and hung up the phone.

My wonderful friend came over that night with pizza and a movie to make me feel better. The horrible part though, I wasn’t even sad. Have you ever seen the movie The Holiday with Cameron Diaz where her boyfriend breaks up with her and she’s trying to force herself to cry???

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That was me. I genuinely wasn’t upset about the whole thing because in the back of my mind I knew it needed to happen. Maybe not in the way that it did but then you guys wouldn’t be so lucky to read about it! My birthday was coming up and my parents planned this awesome trip that Justin Bobby was supposed to go on. This is also when I decided to rescue my dog Cooper.

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See how cute he is!!!!

Right before my trip Justin Bobby reached out to me. He said he really missed me and wanted to see me again. We met up, talked it out and I thought we were going to start dating again. Wrong. Guys, Justin Bobby is the reason why girls think guys only want one thing. Justin Bobby wanted that one thing but he asked if he could take me to dinner for it, buy me a new purse, new shoes or a watch. He didn’t want the relationship title just blow jobs and sex. This was not what I wanted clearly. I wanted him to tell me he loved me after that 6-month period. His response: “I don’t love you, I never loved you and never will.” Stab me right in the heart why don’t you! This is probably where I’ve gotten my black soul from. This whole relationship.

my soul is black... like the night sky. infinite, full of mystery & twinkling stars :)

Eventually, Justin Bobby found some other poor girl and I only say poor girl because I found out after he had been dating her for longer than him and I, he cheated on her. He actually told me this himself. Of course, while he was deployed he tried to reach out to me and say he would buy me things again if I sent him pictures. At this point all of my niceness had worn off because of him and other wonderful men. When he came home he asked me out to dinner. I told him I would think about it and almost picked a day a time only to blow him off last minute. Truthfully, I wanted him to feel the burn that he caused me. He was not happy at all with this burn and I soon blocked him after that.

Justin Bobby taught me to trust my gut and always remember that 3-month rule. I’ve actually gotten it down to a 2-3 date rule now but sometimes a few might slip through the cracks. He also eventually in the long run taught me again to stand up for myself and not let someone physically take advantage of me. I got to experience some pretty cool things with Justin Bobby but I’m also glad I didn’t settle or try to push him to be in a relationship that was going nowhere. Sometimes blind dates can go really bad but sometimes they teach you more about yourself.

I used to believe every word you said Ricardo.You were my Knight in Shining Armor and Prince Charming..I was your Cheerleader/Best Friend/Toy and even Mistress..then your lies destroyed the fantasy image of you..  #ByeRicardo #IWishIKnewTheRealYouAndNotTheFakeOne

Being More Independent

With the holiday’s fast approaching and the cold weather bearing down on us what do singles want that they don’t have? A relationship or someone they can cuddle up to when it’s cold, go see Christmas lights, the Nutcracker, or exchange gifts with. For some odd reason we always want someone around the holidays. So, today we’ll talk about ways to be more independent.

We’ve always been taught since a young age that being alone is a bad thing. That we will always need someone to help us but then when there isn’t someone there to help you what happens? You get through it alone and you’re fine. There have been numerous times where I really want to ask for help, I’ve even asked for help or reached out for it and got nothing back. Those nights where you’ve had the worst day and so many terrible things start crashing down around you and you just want someone there for you. But sometimes there is no one and in those times, you have to pull through it on your own. These times are tests to show you that you can actually get through things without having someone help you or do it for you. They allow you to become stronger so the next time you’re faced with a problem you don’t think you can deal with, you actually can.

Some of you may have read about my first Solo Trip here on my blog. That trip was what pushed me to be more independent. Yes, it may have been nice to have someone with me while walking around that city but that’s not what I set out to accomplish. Over the last few years I’ve learned so much more about myself by doing things on my own. I am no longer scared to try something new without someone else doing it before me. I am willing to make new friends and go places alone. I’ve actually learned that sometimes you really need those alone moments to get yourself together. Here are a few things that I’ve personally done alone and think anyone can do:

          Go out to dinner

          Go to a museum

          Take a walk around the city

          Go shopping

          Volunteer (this is currently my new favorite thing to do!)

          Go workout

          Sign up for a class

          Go get ice cream

          Wonder around the grocery store

          Adopt a dog (but only if you’re ready for the commitment)

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I have so many things I am willing to do alone now since realizing I don’t always need someone to hold my hand along the way. Being in relationships and dating has taught me this also. We are so terrified of being alone that when we are alone we don’t know what to do with ourselves. People have become so accustom to constantly being with someone they don’t know who they are without them. I used to want to spend so much time with the guys I was in a relationship with because I missed that feeling of happiness when I wasn’t with them. I became dependent on wanting to do whatever they wanted and would bend just to hopefully satisfy them. When I got out of those relationships I felt so lost in my own life because I changed it to fit into theirs. This is when I realized I needed to be ok with being alone and I needed to be more independent. I have accomplished so much in the last few years that I never thought I would alone. I’ve been through major life changes and always thought growing up that when these things would come along I’d have someone by my side helping me along the way. But, those changes came and I conquered them all by myself. If I can do it, anyone can. One day I will find that someone to stand next to me through more changes but as of right now I am pretty darn proud of how far I’ve come all by myself!

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Not Every Guy Will Get A Story

I’ve had some horrible dates in my life but I’ve also had some amazing ones. I’ve had bad luck with the men that I end up with but I’ve also had wonderful relationships with others. Not every guy will end up on my blog. The ones that will not be on here are guys that I really feel in love with, hard and deep. These guys will always hold a special place in my heart that I will keep and cherish forever. The relationships I had with them do not compare to the guys I write about on my blog. They were my favorite, biggest lessons and hardest break ups I have ever gone through in my life. I want to keep those ones to myself so I can always look back and remember what I learned from them. These I will carry into new relationships because they helped me grow into who I am today. So, I will tell you what I learned from them, just not about them.

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Relationship aren’t always roses and butterflies, or fireworks and happy endings. Sometimes we have amazing relationships with people, but they come to an end. It could be mutual or one person deciding what is best for them. In my favorite relationships the biggest thing I learned was communication. Communication in your relationship about your feelings and what you’re thinking is so much better than letting it bottle up inside of you. Be honest and don’t think if you stick around a little longer, things will change. Lots of people get in relationships thinking they can change people. They realize a few months or years down the road that even though they started their relationship sitting on the couch every weekend, that’s not what they want. You have to remember that if you allow someone to do something in the beginning, they won’t understand the change later on. You need to always speak up and let them know what you’re thinking. Do not avoid telling them something because they might get mad. They’ll be even more mad when they find out later. Having your friends there for you during hard times can be good but then they can also give you the worst advice. Always trust your gut because at the end of the day you are the one that has to live with the decision you made for yourself.

My favorite relationships were the best and worst times in my life. We all have seasons of growth and I grew more during those relationships than any of these crappy dates. I realized I should never settle just to make someone else happy. Remember, you need to make yourself happy because that’s who you’ll be spending the rest of your life with.

 

Dates I Never Went On

Dating is hard! Really, really hard!! Especially when you keep going on dates and haven’t found that person that will allow you stop dating. Some people have it really easy. A lot of my friends met their husbands in Middle School, High School or College. Clearly, I am the odd ball who didn’t get that lucky. So, instead I am the lucky girl that gets to go on dates to try to find that special someone. Sometimes while getting “prepared” for these said dates I get that horrible feeling in my stomach and decide I can’t go through with these dates. Here I will tell you about some of the dates I planned, but couldn’t go on and why.

Smartie

I met Smartie while working out and we started chatting. We exchanged numbers and started texting throughout the week. At first everything was normal, easy going conversation but then everything moved really fast, within a day or two. Fast as in he wanted me to help him pick out furniture for his new apartment, a puppy and moving in together eventually. We hadn’t even been to dinner or talked in person other than the day I gave him my number. This threw up red flags immediately and I slowly started to back off. I eventually learned from previous girls he had dated that it was normal for him to do. He would occasionally pop back up on social media asking me how I was doing, I would respond and it would of course end in him asking me on a date while I ignored the request.

Mr. Cuddles

Mr. Cuddles was introduced to me by my boss. He was very polite and we had great conversation. We made plans to get drinks over the Halloween weekend. The day before Mr. Cuddles sent me a picture of him dressed up in his Halloween costume he planned to wear. Bright shorty shorts and a way too small hot pink shirt with a blonde wig. I immediately was turned off by his appearance. Although it was hilarious, I was no longer attracted to Mr. Cuddles. Saturday came and he told me that I would just come to his house before we went out for drinks with his friends. He also told me I could stay the night with him. First, this was going to be our first time hanging out in person and it wasn’t even going to be one on one anymore. Second, I didn’t want to stay the night with him on our so called “First Date.” After he told me this and that he couldn’t wait to get “Trashed” that night, I canceled on Mr. Cuddles. It didn’t end there. This is where Mr. Cuddles gets his name! Sunday morning, I received a text from Mr. Cuddles telling me how hung over he was and that he wished I was in his bed with him to….. CUDDLE. I might sound like a horrible person but I personally am not interested in cuddling with a grown man that hasn’t even taken me to dinner yet. Mr. Cuddles was clearly just looking for “Dessert” and cuddles of course.

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Creepy BBQ Guy

Creepy BBQ Guy doesn’t have a code name except for Creepy BBQ Guy because of his creepiness. I met this guy at a BBQ restaurant and we instantly clicked. Maybe it was the poor lighting and the fact that I had just worked a double shift at the end of an already 40-hour work week. Creepy BBQ Guy and I chatted for about an hour and then I had to leave so I gave him my number. He instantly texted me and then proceeded to keep texting me the entire night. I was trying really hard this time to not be so judgmental as I usually am. So, I would let a few of his messages slide by judge free. Text messages about his ex-fiancé, the amount of debt she put him in, how much money he makes, how much money he spends on his truck, his life, career goals and then making sure I made it home safely. He also repeatedly asked if I wanted to go for a ride in his truck that night. These texts all came within about 2 hours of meeting him and they were each a novel. My responses were short and sweet since he never once asked me about myself. He took it upon himself to make plans for us Sunday and I told him I would let him know. First thing Sunday morning, Creepy BBQ Guy texted me good morning asking me to let him know when I was ready to hang out. I ignored this text. He then texted me a couple of hours later asking me if I was ready to hang out. I ignored this text message also. Remember, I met this guy the night before, talked for an hour in person and then about 3 hours via text messages that were mostly him telling me about himself. A few more hours went by and I got the message: “Hey did I do something wrong? Are you ok?” I hoped if I ignored this last message he would get the hint. Monday came and went and I hadn’t received any texts from Creepy BBQ Guy. I thought, he got the hint. Tuesday morning, I received a text from a childhood friend asking if I was ok. I told him yes, of course I was. He then proceeded to tell me that his cousin had gotten a message from a guy that I had been dating and he hadn’t heard from me since Sunday and he was worried something had happened to me. First of all, how did this guy even know that I was friends with these people because I had no social media at the time. Secondly, we were NOT dating, we had met for an hour, texted for 3 and that was all!! I told my friend the whole story of how me met and the conversations we had and he instantly said this guy sounded super creepy. Hence the nickname!! My friend let his cousin know the situation so she never responded to him about me. The next day came and guess what?! Another text from Creepy BBQ Guy. “Hey.” I immediately blocked his number after that.

Hoover

I met Hoover while waiting on him and his parents. Once they left I noticed Hoover had left his number on his receipt. I thought he was cute but really wanted to find out how old he was. Curiosity got the best of me so I texted him. Hoover was a smooth talker but he was almost 10 years younger than me. He wanted to meet up sometime during the week for dinner. I started to agree until I found out he lived 3 hours away. I slowly became uninterested in Hoover within a day when he started telling me that he could see himself with me for a long time and you never know what happens when you meet that special someone. I stopped responding to Hoover and this guy got the hint and did not continue to text me.

J. Neutron

My lovely friend decided to set me up with J. Neutron. I got a text one morning from her saying she had a nice guy I needed to meet. Of course, I gave in and let her give my number to him. She did at least send me a picture of him beforehand so I could put a face with a name. Over my years of dating I have this tendency to judge guys very easily on their texts. I have been trying very hard to change this. Within the same day of letting my friend give my number out, I received a text from a new number. This text had no name attached to it, just: “Hey is this Madison.” I replied back nicely and asked if it was the person I had been told had my number. Tip: when texting a new number for the first time please include your own name! J. Neutron was not the best at texting but I gave him the benefit of the doubt and continued the conversation. We planned our date for almost a week out. I did not hear from him the following day, again gave him the benefit of the doubt, so I text him the next day asking about his day. The conversation again went nowhere. That weekend I got a random text from him in the middle of the night that I didn’t respond to since it was weird. The next day, while at a party with my lovely friend, I told her about the text. Shortly after, I got a somewhat rude text from J. Neutron. I responded nicely which was rare with the thoughts in my head at this point. Also, I received texts from J. Neutron about how drunk he was getting. Sorry guys, this is a huge turn off for me if you couldn’t tell from Mr. Cuddles. The day of the date finally came and I waited around all day to hear from J. Neutron. I thought maybe he would text me to confirm our date or at least try to start some sort of conversation since we had so little during the week. Remember this date was planned almost a week ago. J. Neutron finally texted me less than 15 minutes before our “scheduled date.” By this time, I was done being polite and told him I couldn’t go on our date. This one really got the hint and I never heard from him again.

On a side note these dates that I never went on weren’t within a week or month. These were over a period of three years. Over these years, I have grown to learn what I want and don’t want in a guy. These guys will meet their “special someone” or “cuddle buddy” but I was not it.

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Stand Out

There are some moments in your life when someone says something to you that will always stay in your mind. They can be encouraging words, or words that will hurt you. These words can change the way you think about yourself or other people. Women are already compared to each other in multiple ways; the color of our hair, eyes, what we’re wearing, who we spend our time with, how much we weigh, our relationships with men and many more things. So when the person you’re in a relationship with tells you something that changes the way you look at yourself in a negative way, it hurts. It really hurts. My first boyfriend after high school did just that, and we will refer to him as “Prince A.”
The first time I met Prince A was at a party at his house. I remember meeting him, talking to him and enjoying the whole night. About a week or so later I saw Prince A again, and he ended up asking me on a date. I was over the moon that this guy was at least a little bit interested in me. Interested enough to ask me out. We went to dinner and I thought it went okay but didn’t think a guy like him would be interested in me at all. Before he took me home that night, he asked me on a second date. Prince A pulled out all the stops and took me on the best dates I have probably ever been on. He knew how to wow a woman.
We formed a relationship and in time people ask you how did you meet. Prince A would start the story but when I corrected him and told him I had met him at his house for a party, but he said he didn’t remember. We had been in a relationship long enough to where I felt comfortable enough to ask him why he didn’t remember me and his response was, “I don’t know, you just didn’t stand out.” I dated Prince A for over a year and we ended up not seeing eye to eye with a lot of things in our relationship, but those words he said always stood out to me.

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Other than never feeling pretty enough or important enough for Prince A, our relationship wasn’t horrible. We just weren’t meant for each other. But those words have stayed with me for years. I have always compared myself to other girls and wanted to be the best. It’s taken me a while, but I’m finally realizing that I am different for a reason, just like everyone else around me. I need to own the qualities I was given, and the things I have conquered and fought for all by myself. We don’t need someone else’s approval, although we sometimes strive for it. Just because someone might not think you stand out to them, doesn’t mean you don’t stand out. Everyone stands out in their own way.

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The Three Musketeers

Have you ever gone on a date with a guy with a specfic name and then every guy you meet after that with that name you don’t like? Try going out with three guys, with the same name in the same week! This is why they will be referred to as “The Three Musketeers.”

Date 1: Porthos
Porthos was one of the three musketeers that was fond of fashionable clothes and keen on making a fortune for himself. I went on a dinner date with a man that shared similar traits as Porthos , he liked to talk about money, traveling and having nice things. Hence, why I thought Porthos was the perfect name for him. I was meeting Porthos at a bar downtown and before I could even get out of the car he was insulting me from across the street. There were a few red flags in our conversation beforehand but for some reason I still showed up. We sat down and started the normal 1st date conversation. He did the tough guy act, trying to impress me with all he had to offer and whenever I would try to tell him about myself he would cut me off or insult me. Once we finished our drinks I thought we were done with the date. But, he asked me to get dinner with him across the street. I was starving, so I agreed. At dinner, the insults continued. Finally, he was ready to go home. He walked me to my car and I gave him a hug goodbye. His response was “had fun, bye!” I was so relieved that he didn’t want to make plans for a second date. On my drive home Porthos texted me and gave me the only compliment from the whole night…… “nice shoes”. I didn’t respond to his text or his texts the following day. One date down and two more to go!

Date 2: Aramis
Aranis was a handsome young man who hesitated between his religious calling and his fondness for women and scheming. My second Musketeer fit this description. During our first date he brought up religious beliefs. While sitting at dinner he asked where I stood on religion. I told him that I attend church on Sundays and pray regularly. He then proceeded to tell me why I shouldn’t believe in the God that I do and that his beliefs were better than mine. This is NOT a first date conversation topic. Aranis and I finished our dinner and I told him I needed to get home even though it was still early in the night. I did not agree to a second date with Aranis.

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Date 3: Athos
Athos, the last Musketeer had never recovered from his marriage and sought solace in wine. Although, Athos’s name didn’t relate with his personality as close as my previous two dates, I found similarities. Athos was very handsome, kind and quiet. I thought the quiet part came from it being our first date and he was just nervous. Our first date we went to my favorite taco place for dinner. I noticed I did most of the talking but always would ask him questions about himself. I thought the date was going pretty well so once it was over I suggested we go out again. I wanted to give Athos another chance since I thought he was nervous and that was the reason for his lack of talking. On the second date we met at a restaurant closer to his house. While waiting for our table I wanted to test Athos to see if he would start the conversation. He didn’t. We stood there waiting for our table in silence, not speaking a single word to each other. We finally sat down and I started the conversation. Usually during dates, I hate the awkward silence and always try to fill it. This time I let the awkward silence sit there waiting for Athos to talk. Finally, our date was over and I went home. I didn’t hear from Athos for over 4 days after that night. His only text after 4 days was “Hey, what’s up?”. I didn’t respond because I was no longer interested and guys shouldn’t wait 4 days to text someone after a second date if you want to go out again.

The Three Musketeers were three completely different types of guys. These guys will meet a woman that fits their personality. I clearly wasn’t her. These dates taught me that even a free drink and dinner are not worth being insulted the entire time. To never change your beliefs based on someone else’s and do not bring up religion on the first date unless you’ve already previously discussed it. And lastly, make sure to talk to your date and don’t leave awkward silence.

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