Lately I’ve been trying to figure out what Honesty truly means. I’m getting so many mixed signals from guys that I feel like I don’t really understand the true meaning of honesty. The Webster Dictionary defines it as: fairness and straightforwardness. So, why is it that not what people use it for.
I’ve been trying really hard to be honest with guys that I’m not interested in or no longer want to see but some guys don’t get the hint. But then, when I do decide to go out with a guy, I don’t get the same honesty back. Instead, I get stood up, not once but twice.
At the end of last year, a guy reached out to me and came on pretty strong. I was genuinely interested in this guy and actually wanted to meet him for dinner eventually. We talked for about a week, mostly me carrying on the conversation while he answered questions about himself. That was the first red flag. I finally asked him when we would meet and go on an actual date. He told me we could do something that Friday. Just so you know, it was Tuesday when we made these plans.
The following day I got one of the worst phone calls while at work. I had to make the decision to put my dog to sleep. My poor little Ava was ready to go to Doggy Heaven. I never heard from my date that day but I was too busy crying anyways. The following day I didn’t hear from him either but he was still watching my Instagram stories. Another red flag. Friday came and still no word from him. I was about to write him off but then noticed he had sent me quite a few snapchats. He even sent them the day after we were supposed to go out. We started talking through snapchat this time. Again, I owned up and asked if we could go out and made plans for this past Sunday. Sunday came and we were still snapchatting most of the day. Once I was done volunteering and made it home I asked if he still wanted to do something. If you aren’t aware you can tell when someone opens your snap and he opened it right after I sent it. And, he didn’t respond.
I don’t understand how someone can carry on a conversation and make plans then completely ghost them. I guess I expect honesty since I’m honest with people I’m not interested in. This could have totally ruined my self-esteem but I didn’t let it. I remind myself that every thing I have is because of me. I know what I bring to the table and I know I deserve someone that wants my time. A really good just told me “You are worth someone’s time. You aren’t a waste of time.”
Being honest has become so hard for some people that it’s easier for people to lie or just “disappear”. We don’t like to hurt people’s feelings but when we aren’t honest it just hurts them more. We need to be more honest because the less honest guys are with girls the longer we want to stay single and far, far away from dating.
Next week, I’ll tell you about when I’ve been honest with guys and how it just didn’t work out that well for me.