Dates I Never Went On

Dating is hard! Really, really hard!! Especially when you keep going on dates and haven’t found that person that will allow you stop dating. Some people have it really easy. A lot of my friends met their husbands in Middle School, High School or College. Clearly, I am the odd ball who didn’t get that lucky. So, instead I am the lucky girl that gets to go on dates to try to find that special someone. Sometimes while getting “prepared” for these said dates I get that horrible feeling in my stomach and decide I can’t go through with these dates. Here I will tell you about some of the dates I planned, but couldn’t go on and why.


I met Smartie while working out and we started chatting. We exchanged numbers and started texting throughout the week. At first everything was normal, easy going conversation but then everything moved really fast, within a day or two. Fast as in he wanted me to help him pick out furniture for his new apartment, a puppy and moving in together eventually. We hadn’t even been to dinner or talked in person other than the day I gave him my number. This threw up red flags immediately and I slowly started to back off. I eventually learned from previous girls he had dated that it was normal for him to do. He would occasionally pop back up on social media asking me how I was doing, I would respond and it would of course end in him asking me on a date while I ignored the request.

Mr. Cuddles

Mr. Cuddles was introduced to me by my boss. He was very polite and we had great conversation. We made plans to get drinks over the Halloween weekend. The day before Mr. Cuddles sent me a picture of him dressed up in his Halloween costume he planned to wear. Bright shorty shorts and a way too small hot pink shirt with a blonde wig. I immediately was turned off by his appearance. Although it was hilarious, I was no longer attracted to Mr. Cuddles. Saturday came and he told me that I would just come to his house before we went out for drinks with his friends. He also told me I could stay the night with him. First, this was going to be our first time hanging out in person and it wasn’t even going to be one on one anymore. Second, I didn’t want to stay the night with him on our so called “First Date.” After he told me this and that he couldn’t wait to get “Trashed” that night, I canceled on Mr. Cuddles. It didn’t end there. This is where Mr. Cuddles gets his name! Sunday morning, I received a text from Mr. Cuddles telling me how hung over he was and that he wished I was in his bed with him to….. CUDDLE. I might sound like a horrible person but I personally am not interested in cuddling with a grown man that hasn’t even taken me to dinner yet. Mr. Cuddles was clearly just looking for “Dessert” and cuddles of course.

Image result for cuddles meme

Creepy BBQ Guy

Creepy BBQ Guy doesn’t have a code name except for Creepy BBQ Guy because of his creepiness. I met this guy at a BBQ restaurant and we instantly clicked. Maybe it was the poor lighting and the fact that I had just worked a double shift at the end of an already 40-hour work week. Creepy BBQ Guy and I chatted for about an hour and then I had to leave so I gave him my number. He instantly texted me and then proceeded to keep texting me the entire night. I was trying really hard this time to not be so judgmental as I usually am. So, I would let a few of his messages slide by judge free. Text messages about his ex-fiancé, the amount of debt she put him in, how much money he makes, how much money he spends on his truck, his life, career goals and then making sure I made it home safely. He also repeatedly asked if I wanted to go for a ride in his truck that night. These texts all came within about 2 hours of meeting him and they were each a novel. My responses were short and sweet since he never once asked me about myself. He took it upon himself to make plans for us Sunday and I told him I would let him know. First thing Sunday morning, Creepy BBQ Guy texted me good morning asking me to let him know when I was ready to hang out. I ignored this text. He then texted me a couple of hours later asking me if I was ready to hang out. I ignored this text message also. Remember, I met this guy the night before, talked for an hour in person and then about 3 hours via text messages that were mostly him telling me about himself. A few more hours went by and I got the message: “Hey did I do something wrong? Are you ok?” I hoped if I ignored this last message he would get the hint. Monday came and went and I hadn’t received any texts from Creepy BBQ Guy. I thought, he got the hint. Tuesday morning, I received a text from a childhood friend asking if I was ok. I told him yes, of course I was. He then proceeded to tell me that his cousin had gotten a message from a guy that I had been dating and he hadn’t heard from me since Sunday and he was worried something had happened to me. First of all, how did this guy even know that I was friends with these people because I had no social media at the time. Secondly, we were NOT dating, we had met for an hour, texted for 3 and that was all!! I told my friend the whole story of how me met and the conversations we had and he instantly said this guy sounded super creepy. Hence the nickname!! My friend let his cousin know the situation so she never responded to him about me. The next day came and guess what?! Another text from Creepy BBQ Guy. “Hey.” I immediately blocked his number after that.


I met Hoover while waiting on him and his parents. Once they left I noticed Hoover had left his number on his receipt. I thought he was cute but really wanted to find out how old he was. Curiosity got the best of me so I texted him. Hoover was a smooth talker but he was almost 10 years younger than me. He wanted to meet up sometime during the week for dinner. I started to agree until I found out he lived 3 hours away. I slowly became uninterested in Hoover within a day when he started telling me that he could see himself with me for a long time and you never know what happens when you meet that special someone. I stopped responding to Hoover and this guy got the hint and did not continue to text me.

J. Neutron

My lovely friend decided to set me up with J. Neutron. I got a text one morning from her saying she had a nice guy I needed to meet. Of course, I gave in and let her give my number to him. She did at least send me a picture of him beforehand so I could put a face with a name. Over my years of dating I have this tendency to judge guys very easily on their texts. I have been trying very hard to change this. Within the same day of letting my friend give my number out, I received a text from a new number. This text had no name attached to it, just: “Hey is this Madison.” I replied back nicely and asked if it was the person I had been told had my number. Tip: when texting a new number for the first time please include your own name! J. Neutron was not the best at texting but I gave him the benefit of the doubt and continued the conversation. We planned our date for almost a week out. I did not hear from him the following day, again gave him the benefit of the doubt, so I text him the next day asking about his day. The conversation again went nowhere. That weekend I got a random text from him in the middle of the night that I didn’t respond to since it was weird. The next day, while at a party with my lovely friend, I told her about the text. Shortly after, I got a somewhat rude text from J. Neutron. I responded nicely which was rare with the thoughts in my head at this point. Also, I received texts from J. Neutron about how drunk he was getting. Sorry guys, this is a huge turn off for me if you couldn’t tell from Mr. Cuddles. The day of the date finally came and I waited around all day to hear from J. Neutron. I thought maybe he would text me to confirm our date or at least try to start some sort of conversation since we had so little during the week. Remember this date was planned almost a week ago. J. Neutron finally texted me less than 15 minutes before our “scheduled date.” By this time, I was done being polite and told him I couldn’t go on our date. This one really got the hint and I never heard from him again.

On a side note these dates that I never went on weren’t within a week or month. These were over a period of three years. Over these years, I have grown to learn what I want and don’t want in a guy. These guys will meet their “special someone” or “cuddle buddy” but I was not it.


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