What girl hasn’t gotten on Tinder or at least looked at it and had some type of interest in it? Tinder is hilarious. There are books about Tinder fails, and hilarious screenshots of Tinder conversations. Not everyone is successful on Tinder, except for that couple that got a free trip to Hawaii.
Here are a few of my personal Tinder fails.
My first ever tinder date was with “Blue”. He seemed very nice and was easy to talk to through texts. So, we decided to go out for ice cream. We met in a public place, so that if he tried to kidnap me I could scream and someone would hear me! He picked me up on time and we started our drive to go get ice cream. This was also the first date since breaking up with my boyfriend of 6 months. (I’ll introduce him later!)
Blue wanted to talk about his custom ordered 4Runner and how intense his job was the whole ride there. I just sat there in the passenger seat. We got our ice cream, sat down, and Blue kept talking while I kept nodding. Blue then took it upon himself to guess my underwear color while eating ice cream. Yes, there were people around us. He asked if I had on blue underwear. It was clearly my shirt tucked into my skirt. I then thought it was best for Blue to return me to my car. He drove me back to my car and he asked about coming to my house. My excuse: I needed to go buy cat food to feed my cat. I got out of the car and walked into the grocery store and wondered around for about 30 minutes to make sure he had left and wouldn’t follow me home. I then went home without any cat food and without any desire to see Blue again.
I didn’t want Blue to ruin my experience of Tinder since a few of my friends had actually had decent dates so I decided to give another match a chance. This Tinder guy will be referred as “V”.
V and I chatted on Tinder for a bit before agreeing to meet up for coffee. Sidenote: I don’t drink coffee, so this date was already off to a bad start. The next day we made plans to meet at Starbucks after work. We had been chatting some throughout the day so I assumed we still had plans. I texted V on my way to the date. I pulled into the parking lot, checked my phone, no response. So, I waited a few minutes for him to text back. Nothing. I waited to see if anyone showed up. Nothing. V never showed up. He texted me later that evening and said “Oh was that tonight.” I didn’t respond. He obviously wasn’t worth my time.
Karma is a Funny thing. V ended up coming into my work about a week later. He didn’t know where I worked but he ended up coming right in and was face to face with me. Meeting him in person made me very glad that I didn’t end up on that date with him. He could barely look at me and he clearly was not as tall as he said.
I didn’t give up that easily on Tinder because third time is supposed to be the charm. I decided to go on another date with some lucky guy. This date was with “Gamer”.
Gamer thought we should eat at a hibachi restaurant that was his favorite. It was nice but we ended up talking to the other people at the table more than we talked to each other. After dinner, he thought we should go to a local park to walk around and get to know each other some more. Don’t worry, I drove myself so that way if he was going to try kidnap me I was in a public place and I could run back to my car. This guy also talked a lot. He liked to talk about his job which was a professional video gamer. This was a first for me. I didn’t even know that was a career. But this also showed me he didn’t like the outdoors and would rather spend time inside, in front of a TV. His pictures also didn’t look anything like the person I was with. But then neither did the other two Tinder guys.
Lesson learned: guys use old pictures for their Tinder profiles, they are not as tall as they look, and sometimes people really do say what they’re thinking. But these guys are awesome in their own way and hopefully have met whoever they were looking for on Tinder or Bumble or E-harmony. Internet dating is not for me.